An eight-year study of 218 couples found 90 percent experienced a decrease in marital satisfaction once the first child was born. Couples who lived together before marriage experienced more problems after the birth of a child than those who lived separately before marriage, as did those whose parents fought or divorced.
Sounds like they surveyed a bunch of immature, self-centered individuals to me. But I guess that is our current society and culture. Kids are no longer viewed as gifts of marriage, but as commodities....especially as you see how many couples force the "gift" by "obtaining" a child through IVF. That baby isn't viewed as a special child of God that was given to them through their marriage, but as something that they can go out and buy. No wonder so many couples then feel it is okay to be disappointed in their "purchase."
Read the full story here.
4 comments:
The biggest problem is couples don't actually talk about if they really want children or not. They need to be honest with each other and they need to realize it's OK NOT to have kids. Men in particular need to be honest about their feelings on fatherhood. Maybe people are more about themselves now and there isn't anything wrong with that. Just be honest about your feelings. I also feel that couples should be required to take some kind course about marriage before they are allowed to marry. It doesn't have to be a religious thing, just something to help them see what's about to happen. Since the divorce rate in 50% I don't think taking the "let them figure it out" approach is working too well. Too many broken homes, too many single parents!!! If you don't want kids DON'T have them. And if you're with a partner trying to force you to have a child, LEAVE them NOW!!!!!!!
Yeah I heard this on the news. These couples most likely don't even get marriage. It's not that they are to follow their heart...they need to LEAD their heart. They can't give what they don't have...and that is to love like Jesus Christ. And having a child??! That is where the true Trinity is established within a marriage. I feel sad for these couples who maybe are struggling in their faith, who most likely were having pre-marital sex, cohabitating and using contraception.
DTownFan - I can see you mean well, but some things you said are interesting. For instance "People are more about themselves now and there isn't anything wrong with that." Actually there is a lot wrong with being selfish and self centered. Being about ones self, and not about others, is what causes pretty much every moral and economic problem in our culture.
Marriage is an "other centered" institution. If you do not love your spouse more then yourself, you shouldn't be married. And if you are not prepared to have children you shouldn't be married, and therefore, shouldn't be having sex.
I agree people should be honest and should take classes before marriage - but, we should not praise selfish inclinations.
BTW the divorce rate is largely do to pornography and promiscuity, not people figuring it out on their own. People who practice chastity have a less then 2% divorce rate and have more frequent and better sexual relationships.
If you don't want kids, don't marry. Why lie on the altar? Open to children? Couples say "yes". Not off to a great start when couples lie. Already their marriage is void. Being open to children is part of marriage. Couples may not get that.
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